So I was up at the North Pole last night when this post came to Santa's attention. (Don't think for a second that elves don't monitor NY CL CAS every minute of the day. The sexual tension at Santa's Workshop rivals that of Nordstrom's.)
Santa's initial reaction was, "Aren't you 40? Didn't I stop giving you presents before the fall of the Soviet Union?"
On behalf of the sexually needy everywhere, and hoping to one day score presents at old age myself, I pled this woman's case.
"Santa," I said, "She's been really good all year long. And," I paused trying to think of anything else in the ad that could come to this woman's defense. "She has a quick wit," was all I could come up with.
"Men don't care. Is she at least in good shape?"
"Kinda," I replied. "Sure, she appeals to neither people who want thin women nor to people who want BBWs, but there must be a whole field of men who want quick witted older women, regardless of body type, no?"
With his definitive knowledge of the sexual desires of mankind throughout Christendom, Santa said no.
"She loves leftovers."
"What does that even mean?"
"Well if the drumstick is the male organ and the stuffing is either the act or the seed, then the leftovers would be... um..."
We both paused and considered various possibilities. We then simultaneously went "ewww."
Dear Santa.......... - w4m - 40
Reply to: pers-236001749@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-11-16, 11:12PM EST
I've been a really good girl all year long, and I was hoping to put in my Christmas wish a bit early. It seems that I've become all work and no play, and my wish this Christmas is to find a nice sexy man. Granted if he could even show up after Thanksgiving to deliver his own stuffing and drumstick, that would be swell too! I love leftovers!
I'm hoping Santa will bring me a guy who's a patient and creative lover, fortysomething, has a great sense of humor, witty, astute, literate, and SINGLE! I'm a tall blonde, and wish for my guy to stand above 5'10". I'm between average and BBW, quick wit, high drive, and hoping to make this a regular thing should Santa deliver!
Your pic gets mine, and I'll be waiting eagerly by the fireplace........
No comments:
Post a Comment