Let's Hope He Doesn't Start a Dynasty

http://newyork.craigslist.org/stn/stp/315127671.html

If I were looking for a friend on the internet, I'd probably start off by sharing my fondness for an 80s male sex icon in an obscure movie about the illegal booze trade.

But there's more to this guy than nascent homoeroticism:

1. He likes the duck-billed platypus. So if you are the one chick in America who owns one, then you're in luck.
2. Sometimes he shaves a lot, sometimes rarely, depending on the situation. This tells us a lot about the author. I bet he eats a lot sometimes, less at other times, depending on how hungry he is.
3. He likes to double bag his groceries, just in case... of what?

Let me stop this list here. Why is he telling us this? Is he trying to sound cute and quirky? Is he trying to say that his personality can't be captured in total, but instead can only be shown in bits and slices of everyday minutia?

If it's the latter, the sad truth is that no part of his list differentiates him at all from anyone. The few that are different are just weird. For example, his favorite day is Arbor Day? Really? The song you'd sing forever is the alphabet song? Honestly?

The author knows words like "trite" because of his private liberal-arts "education." Actually, most of us picked that word up after our fifth grade educations. And our wordsmith author would be well-suited to use a word besides "zest" to describe his zeal for the English language. Zest makes the mother tongue sound like a salad.

The author considers himself a man of few words. This may also be why he considers himself educated.

He also suggests everyone strive to be more like Denzel Washington (another male sex symbol!) and less like Kyle Peterson. What did Kyle Peterson do wrong? Does he mean the All-American College Baseball player? Or the title character from the ABC Family Drama Kyle XY? Does he maybe mean Scott Peterson?

In summation, this guy's hobbies include driving the speed limit and "bland soda products." And I think that about sums up why he's turned to the internet for friends.

Patrick Swayze was good in the movie RoadHouse - m4w - 22

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Reply to: pers-315127671@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-25, 10:29PM EDT


I will post a little about me...

I like the duck-billed playtapus. I shave often,
or seldom, depending on the necessity of the matter. I prefer to double bag my groceries, just to be on the safe side. Out of all the holidays, although I delight in many, my favorite is Arbor Day, because Arbor Day is
Nebraskan in origin. My favorite facial expression is the one right before someone laughs. Try to make that one!

If I could sing one song for the rest of my life it would be the alphabet song, because I believe in children's literacy, although I don't necessarily support the no child left behind policy. I am fundamentally enthralled by the Amish community and it's many wondrous virtues. I like star-gazing, because I consider it trite. I know of words such as trite because of my private liberal arts education, and zest for the English language.

I believe everyone should always aspire to be themselves... unless they are Kyle Peterson. He should try to be someone else, like maybe Denzel Washington... On Second thought, everyone should try to be more like Denzel Washington! If you are Denzel Washington, then you are doing all right!

Finally, in summation, I believe that I am a man of few words, or many depending on the person I am speaking to.

And these are my hobbies...

all out horse play, Driving the speed limit, not shaving for unusual periods of time, starting a dynasty, not sharing, taking things to seriously, blaming it on the rain, bland soda products, the munchies, David Spade, approaching the speed of light, Speaking up when when it is my turn