Hess Trucks

http://newyork.craigslist.org/jsy/cas/251580651.html

It's a sign of the season. Commercials on TV start incorporating snow and Jingle Bells. Gas stations start selling Hess trucks. And CL ads start having a stretched Christmas theme.

It was awkward at Thanksgiving, and it's awkward now. Heck, it was awkward a month ago.

The author of this ad keeps reminding us he isn't Santa. Some observations:

1. Anyone that denies anything three times without ever being accused of something is probably lying. So Santa (a bisexual man in his 40s looking for sex on the internet when he has a big job to do that he should be focusing on) is probably lying to kids to prevent the trauma they'd experience if they saw a close up picture of Santa's penis clutched in his jolly hand.
2. Santa's slurring his speech. What's with the y's? Why the long pauses between words, denoted by .....'s?
   
3. Who says Ho Ho Ho during sex? That's just weird.

Not to be a Scrooge, but the North Pole is cold and when you lick cold poles, your tongue will get stuck. Try explaining that to all the kids who stay up late to see Santa come down a chimney with some dude trapped inside of his already filled pants.

Have you ever licked Santa's North Pole?????? - m4mw - 40

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Reply to: pers-251580651@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-12-20, 12:34PM EST


Well I'm not reallyyy Santa.......But I Do Have A Pole......And It reallyyyy needs to be licked!!!!!

Remember....Santa knows who's naughty and nice......and, yea.....I'm not reallllyyy Santa, but I'm looking for boys and girls who are both naughty and nice....

If you think you fit the bill, cumm sit on Santa's lap.....of course......I'm not reallllyyyy Santa.....But......You sure will make me go "HOHoHo"