Maybe I am a Jerk

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/520061763.html

The author of this ad doesn't know why the women he dates leave him after a few weeks. He's open to the possibility that he's a jerk, but doubts it. If telling a girl before you meet her that her "mouth, pussy, and ass are for my cock and that I do things that may hurt a little, but that you must learn to love" even when she doesn't want to those things, then maybe you should revisit that "jerk" idea.

But don't listen to me, I'm not silencingly brilliant. Which I guess means when this guys speaks no one wants to respond. Which may not be brilliance after all, right?

Also, he wants women who contain. Contain what? Themselves?

Prolonged, nasty email exchange - m4w - 29 (Upper West Side)

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Reply to: pers-520061763@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-12-26, 7:02PM EST


I don't live in New York, or on the upper west side either, but I did once and am moving back in the summer. In the meantime, I'd like to pursue a written relationship with a sophisticated woman that might, in the future, be open to meeting, but who understands the pleasures of the imagination - pleasure that you can only get through explicit, honest communication.

Let's see - about me. I'm silencingly funny, brilliant, well-traveled, of approximately average looks, 5 foot 8, in good shape, masculine, well endowed with a voracious sexual apatite that not many women can match. Where I am living, it's hard for me to find a matching set of interests in terms of literature, cinema, and world knowledge. Sex is not that much of a problem, but communication seems to be. Nothing lasts longer than several weeks. Maybe this is because I am a jerk, but I don't think so.

About you - intelligent, expansive, possessing not that specialized geek mind intent on letting everyone know about what's going on on the inside at all moments, but a mind capable of abstraction and language play, that can discuss the common matters, but that can also take certain things as implicit. Be hight weight proportionate. No exercise fanatics wanted, and absolutely no dietary obsessive types. I love average looking, healthy, feminine women who contain.

About sex - You are open for me at all times. This means even if you don't feel like it, you understand that you are for me. Your mouth, pussy, and ass are for my cock and that I do things that may hurt a little, but that you must learn to love. The greatest thrill is understanding that you will learn to love them and that there is nothing you can do about it. You give yourself over to me entirely sexually, while your brilliant mind remains independent. You wait for me. You hunger to take whatever I give. You hunger to wait.

A River in Egypt

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/409445324.html

There's a scene in Les Mis where Fantine begins her life as a prostitute. Like many women who fall into a life in the sex trade, she feels like she doesn't belong. She's too good to be selling herself. The other women encourage her (which is strange in a competitive marketplace), telling her that they all feel that way at first. "You're no grander than the rest of us," one woman notes.

That is a scary thought.

One too scary for this author. He deludes himself into thinking that he's the one lonely, horny, but otherwise not bizarre guy who has turned to CL to get a woman. While there are a few crazies out there, (see: rest of this blog) CL is populated by an army of guys as normal and lonely and desperate as he. And with gigantic photographed penises.

The other sad delusion he's buying is that there's some perfectly normal attractive girl reading and responding to guy's ads, looking for that one normal guy. The truth is that, like a shirt in an outlet store, every woman on CL is there for a reason. No one is "too good."

Also, Yahoo IM? Who uses that? That's just weird.

We're too good for this. A Safe but Stimulating Adventure -- Yahoo IM - m4w - 31

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Reply to: pers-409445324@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-29, 9:46PM EDT


Okay, you know who you are. You're too successful or normal to be reading CL. Or you're attached or semi-attached. You're attractive, educated, well-employed. Maybe you're between relationships. Maybe you're just bored or curious.

You're definitely horny. Or looking for something.

I'm in the same boat. Reading CL is a guilty pleasure -- only. If only to see what anonymity brings out in people. Athletic, attractive, employed -- and too single for whatever reason.

Tonight I'm curious -- and sure, horny. What is it like to chat with a complete stranger? Or to see if you can conjure that crazy rush? What do you really want when no one will know?

Chat with me, Too Good for Craigslist Girl. Why not?

It's safe -- I promise I won't meet you.

But it could be fun.

-- Too Good for Craigslist Guy

Family Vacation

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/cas/401107529.html

The author of this ad is in Brooklyn RIGHT NOW. And if that wasn't hot enough for you, then check this out: he is staying at his aunt's house. What a playa!

He's in downtown Brooklyn. I'm not quite sure where that refers to. Brooklyn Heights? If he's surrounded by skyscrapers and such, he's actually in Manhattan. The two are easily confused I guess to visitors, assuming such visitors are blind.

If you're a woman who has never had a stroke before, the author likes to provide nice long strokes. How does he do that? Maybe he shocks you with scary news or electricity or a maybe he only hooks up with really really old women. Hopefully you'll recover your motor functions and health after one of these nice long strokes. Otherwise your family will say, "On the downside, my friend had a stroke today. But don't worry, it was a nice, long stroke."

How can the author be reach? Via a 917 phone number. I wonder how a California visitor has a 917 number. I f you know the answer, definitly get back to me.

IM IN BROOKLYN RIGHT NOW - m4w - 25

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Reply to: pers-401107529@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-19, 10:36PM EDT


IM VISITING FROM CALI RIGHT NOW AND AM IN DOWNTOWN BROOKLYN AT MY AUNTS HOUSE. I am five feet eleven 165lbs and very attractive and well built. clean cut and have a 9 incher. This is my last week in new york and i would like to enjoy myself. im looking for a great encounter tonight. i love oral and love to provide nice long strokes. I f you can deep throat definitly get back to me. I can be reach via nine, one,seven-4-0-six,five,[#] [#]-[#]. I am looking to meet up right now and can travel if needed.

Reception to follow

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Junk in the Trunk

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Family Values

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Second Chances

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The Ladies Man

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/384854686.html

It's Sunday night and Harlem's Heartthrob™ is going to the bar tonight. And for the first time in CL history, he's decided to let the internet know about it.

Like Jesse Jackson or Johnnie Cochran, HH makes his case in rhyme. Nothing turns a lady on more than a poem like:

SKINNY OR FAT
SHORT OR TALL
I LUST FOR YOU ALL

The magic of this poem is that it not only rhymes, but that it also reminds girls that they could be hideously ugly and this heartthrob will still use them as an object. Or this gem:

If you can hang
lets BANG!

This ode, reminiscent of To His Coy Mistress, suggests to the woman that if she is able to have sex, then maybe they should have sex.

I suggest this lesser-known work, attributed to HH:

If you respond to this ad
Your Sunday nights are SAD

It lacks HH's usual flair, but it is frank and honest.

HH mentions the fact that he will be in Harlem only three times, including his name. But the last time, he does so WITH GUSTO!

HARLEM'S HEARTTHROB (NSA) - m4w - 26 (Harlem / Morningside)

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Reply to: pers-384854686@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-29, 10:11PM EDT


I'm going to the bar tonight, and I don't like drinking alone so feel free to join me. DRINKS ON ME! I don't discriminate on dates so just send me a pic and if I like, I'll divulge the location where I will be consuming my cocktails and we can link up. SKINNY OR FAT SHORT OR TALL I LUST FOR YOU ALL! I'm ISO a drinking partner that can handle her liquor and isn't afraid of her sexuality either. I'm a 9.5"er so if you can hang lets BANG! FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME BEFORE MIDNIGHT! I can HOST for after hours. LOCATION HARLEM!

He'll forget all about you

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/332483959.html

Who doesn't like having sex with white old geezers? Especially when you describe them in such glowing, sexy terms?

This Don Juan tries to seduce women by describing his Alzheimer's and suggesting that he'll forget the girl's name and that maybe you'll feel sorry for him. Hot.

If he can't remember your name, how will he go down on you for 30 minutes? Won't he wake up in the middle, confused, and wonder what he's doing? Where he is?

This old man, while certainly not bragging about his small genitals, is awfully confident that he'll be able to achieve erection (which is usually more difficult to achieve than, say, short-term memory). He plans on having two separate bouts of sex, lasting hours. Maybe his memory just "forgot" all the times he stayed as limp as his jowls.

I do give Mr. Magoo credit, however, for not only being on the internet and being honest, but for being awake past 10pm.

Invite this old geezer over to go down and then fuck you - m4w

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Reply to: pers-332483959@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-16, 10:08PM EDT


Do you like having sex with white old geezers. Granted I am on my last legs, at times forget my name and of course yours, but maybe you feel sorry for me because I will perform cunnilingus on your for a good half hour or more, taking my time slowly pleasuring, exploring with my tongue before finally picking up the pace and staying down while you have several releases. Finally my old, little cock is able to get up and then it will fuck you for round one at least half an hour and then after my first orgasm, I will go down on you again.When my cock recharges for round two, I have a terrible problem. My cock stays up for almost an hour or more and unless you are truly skilled it will not be able to cum again for that long or maybe not at all for round two and just stays rock hard for you to fuck and suck. Are you sure you will not be mad having a rock hard cock at your disposal for such a long period of time because most men do not have this horrible problem where it just stays up.

Hi, I'm an ethnic stereotype

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/cas/331825697.html

Hi Girls.

I'd like to introduce you to Indian Guy. That's his name. He thinks that 5'5" is attractive and, like many of his fellow Indian men, he's educated (possibly a doctor!) He's got money and will take you on some trip (possibly as an arranged marriage) for week end some where at his expance once you call him on the tellephone. Whatever he was educated in, it wasn't English.

If anything, this man does us a public service by shattering the terrible stereotype of Indian Americans as overachieving feminine weirdos and instead replacing it with the terrible stereotype of Indian Americans as good kissers :)

Seriously, I wonder if 1205a on Wednesday is the right time to plan a weekend trip. I'm guessing the women reading m4w at 1205a on Wednesday are looking for someone for, say, 105a on Wednesday and not this weekend, when they've sobered up and realize what they're doing.

*****ANY SWEET GIRL WANT TO GO OUT*********** - m4w - 30

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Reply to: pers-331825697@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-16, 12:05AM EDT


HI GIRLS

I'M INDIAN GUY, ATTRACTIVE, EDUCATED, VERY GOOD KISSER :), 5'5''
LET GO FOR WEEK END SOME WHERE

ALL MY EXPANCES

PLEASE REPLY WITH PICTURE & TELLEPHONE

Gosh Darnit

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/331125582.html

How does the author of this ad react to the mass death of every one of the million women in Manhattan? "What a shame !!" It's as if the author feels that he's the real victim in that genocide.

In reality, this 47 year old is probably mistaken since I have spoken to some women to make sure this weird Children of Men scenario did not really take place. Women are still alive in Manhattan! You heard it here first!

So, I guess, I too am quirious as to why no one is responding to this sophisticated social critic. Especially on such a nice day.

The ad, written in the language of kings/ALL CAPS, then goes on to points out that the author really is quirious. Good thing he confirmed that his bizarre curiousity/fifth-grade spelling skills at the age of 47 weren't a joke. Otherwise it wouldn't be scary.

Lastly, he'd like us to RSVP. I didn't know he was having a party (maybe that explains the lack of responses!). I wonder if he knows that RSVP doesn't mean to please respond (which I guess is what the French translation literally means) but instead to respond regarding attendance to a specific event. If he doesn't then... what a shame !!

WHAT A SHAME !! - m4w - 47 (Midtown East)

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Reply to: pers-331125582@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-15, 1:30AM EDT


ALL WOMEN IN MANHATTAN DEAD ? OR WHAT ?
NO RESPONSE ON THIS NICE DAY,WHAT HAPPENED ?
I AM QUIRIUOS.
REALLY.
RSVP

Garfield Enters the World of Online Dating

http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/cas/330513370.html

This gentleman has conflicting views on Mondays. He begins his ad stating his distaste for the first business day of the week, but then describes the day itself as one filled with possibility and opportunity and even calls it "beautiful Monday" towards the end of his ad.

You could meet this stranger in a park or by the beach and if you are mutually turn on, you could have mind blowing off the wall sex for hours. I'd be surprised if someone who lacks the subtlety to use lower case letters at all is a delicate enough lover to make sex mind blowing or off the wall. In his defense, at the age of 44, sex may take hours before he can develop an erection.

This man is a professional, but not so professional that he has to be at work or that he can't be absent for hours upon hours. Also, if this guy is 44 and single and rich, you should immediately start wondering what terrible nonobvious flaw this guy has that has rendered him posting for sex at 1037a on a Monday, well into his 40s.

Then again, he has curky hair and he can make today a day to remember... as the day you got herpes.

I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS!!!! - m4w - 44

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Reply to: pers-330513370@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-14, 10:37AM EDT


I HATE MONDAYS..........SO I TOOK OFF TODAY. WOULD LOVE TO MAKE THE BEST OF THIS DAY. IT'S BEAUTIFUL OUT, WE COULD MEET IN A PARK OR NEAR THE BEACH. HAVE A COFFEE, CHAT, GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER AND IF WE ARE BOTH MUTUALLY TURN ON BY EACH OTHER MAKE THE BEST OF THE DAY BY HAVING MIND BLOWING OFF THE WALL SEX WITH EACH OTHER FOR HOURS......SOUND GOOD? ME PROFESSIONAL, 6'1 DARK CURKY HAIR, BLUE/GREEN EYES AND A BODY THAT WILL MAKE LOVE TO YOU FOR HOURS...NON-STOP. LETS CHAT AND EXCHANGE SOME PICS. WHY LET THIS BEAUTIFUL MONDAY GET AWAY, WHEN WE COULD MAKE IT A DAY TO REMEMBER.........

Let's Hope He Doesn't Start a Dynasty

http://newyork.craigslist.org/stn/stp/315127671.html

If I were looking for a friend on the internet, I'd probably start off by sharing my fondness for an 80s male sex icon in an obscure movie about the illegal booze trade.

But there's more to this guy than nascent homoeroticism:

1. He likes the duck-billed platypus. So if you are the one chick in America who owns one, then you're in luck.
2. Sometimes he shaves a lot, sometimes rarely, depending on the situation. This tells us a lot about the author. I bet he eats a lot sometimes, less at other times, depending on how hungry he is.
3. He likes to double bag his groceries, just in case... of what?

Let me stop this list here. Why is he telling us this? Is he trying to sound cute and quirky? Is he trying to say that his personality can't be captured in total, but instead can only be shown in bits and slices of everyday minutia?

If it's the latter, the sad truth is that no part of his list differentiates him at all from anyone. The few that are different are just weird. For example, his favorite day is Arbor Day? Really? The song you'd sing forever is the alphabet song? Honestly?

The author knows words like "trite" because of his private liberal-arts "education." Actually, most of us picked that word up after our fifth grade educations. And our wordsmith author would be well-suited to use a word besides "zest" to describe his zeal for the English language. Zest makes the mother tongue sound like a salad.

The author considers himself a man of few words. This may also be why he considers himself educated.

He also suggests everyone strive to be more like Denzel Washington (another male sex symbol!) and less like Kyle Peterson. What did Kyle Peterson do wrong? Does he mean the All-American College Baseball player? Or the title character from the ABC Family Drama Kyle XY? Does he maybe mean Scott Peterson?

In summation, this guy's hobbies include driving the speed limit and "bland soda products." And I think that about sums up why he's turned to the internet for friends.

Patrick Swayze was good in the movie RoadHouse - m4w - 22

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Reply to: pers-315127671@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-25, 10:29PM EDT


I will post a little about me...

I like the duck-billed playtapus. I shave often,
or seldom, depending on the necessity of the matter. I prefer to double bag my groceries, just to be on the safe side. Out of all the holidays, although I delight in many, my favorite is Arbor Day, because Arbor Day is
Nebraskan in origin. My favorite facial expression is the one right before someone laughs. Try to make that one!

If I could sing one song for the rest of my life it would be the alphabet song, because I believe in children's literacy, although I don't necessarily support the no child left behind policy. I am fundamentally enthralled by the Amish community and it's many wondrous virtues. I like star-gazing, because I consider it trite. I know of words such as trite because of my private liberal arts education, and zest for the English language.

I believe everyone should always aspire to be themselves... unless they are Kyle Peterson. He should try to be someone else, like maybe Denzel Washington... On Second thought, everyone should try to be more like Denzel Washington! If you are Denzel Washington, then you are doing all right!

Finally, in summation, I believe that I am a man of few words, or many depending on the person I am speaking to.

And these are my hobbies...

all out horse play, Driving the speed limit, not shaving for unusual periods of time, starting a dynasty, not sharing, taking things to seriously, blaming it on the rain, bland soda products, the munchies, David Spade, approaching the speed of light, Speaking up when when it is my turn

Missing the Point

http://newyork.craigslist.org/stn/stp/317755996.html and http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/stp/317535761.html

What is "strictly platonic?" Dictionary.com defines it as "free from sensual desire." But, as Billy Crystal argues in When Harry Met Sally, it is perhaps true that there are no platonic relationships between men and women.

I think the argument used by these authors is that, since they claim not to want insertion, their ads are not sexual. However, I don't believe making out to be a platonic act. At the very least, this violates the word "strictly" in "strictly platonic."

The gentleman's idea of platonic is hanging out with the lights out, candles lit, and tongues passionately kissing. The woman outright asks for a friend with benefits. I think that when these two meet, they'll end up getting more action than the average casual encounters poster.

What I find fascinating, though, is why these two people chose strictly platonic for their ads. Fear? The notion that they're not "casual encounters" people, some sort of inner insistence of superiority? The distinction in their mind between kissing and sex? Frankly, at a certain age, making out often leads somewhere...

Keeping in mind that the man posted in the morning and the woman posted in the early evening, I think that online dating is a weird element in the average person's average boring life. Like buying condoms, it's a disruption in the standard illusion that most people maintain that their dirty impulses don't exist. And just like the upright individual who purchases as many rolls of tape or toothbrushes as they can to minimize the attention given to the condoms, so too these people were willing only to dabble their toes in the pool of online dating. The man quickly went back to work, the woman back to her TiVo, as if nothing had ever happened.

Seeking makeout partner - m4w - 25

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Reply to: pers-317755996@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-24, 9:31AM EDT


I am not looking for sex, just looking to make out. I am a tall, thin and attractive young guy. I have been told i am cute. I just want to meet somone who wants to hang out, watch tv or a movie, share a quiet evening at home(you know, with the lights out and just the tv or some candles on) or go out to eat or to the beach or other things. I love deep passionate tounge kissing. I am a down to earth hard working blue collar guy. I live alone and i am quite smart and very kind.

Friend with Benefits - w4m - 24

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Reply to: pers-317535761@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-23, 9:46PM EDT


Looking for a friend who likes to hang out, watch TV and movies and also likes to make out. No strings attached and not looking for a sexual relationship, just looking for someone who wants to make out and have a good time. Someone who likes sports is a plus, must be someone with a good sense of humor.

Megalomania gets me all hot and bothered, too

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/cas/315354014.html

One of the things that frequently impresses me about the CL casual encounters community is the healthy sense of self-worth that most of these folks seem to have. You'd think that one's ego would be smarting a little bit because: 1) you have to go on the internet to get laid and 2) you actually went ahead and did it. But no, most of these people seem quite content.

This guy is a perfect example. His game-plan here seems to be: insult a broad class of women, make outrageous claims about himself, and they'll all come flocking, although it intrigues me that there are hundreds of "horny, barely-legal school girls" trolling casual encounters, using their "slut-senses" to seek out men who will likely insult them. And apparently this guy must be a real stud, because aside from referring to himself as "the Chosen One," he's through with all the other sluts and has returned to posting on CL.

Another plus: he ends his post with what seems to be a totally new injection: WOY!

Listen sluts... - m4w - 31

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Reply to: pers-315354014@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-20, 9:40AM EDT


If you are reading this, you know you're a slut.

It's all well and good if your a slut, but you've got to be my slut for it to do me any good.

Email me a pic and tell me what you'll do for me.

Try to make a good first impression because I get hundreds of responses from horny, barely-legal school girls when I post on CL.

Somehow, using their slut-senses they just know I'm the "Chosen One".

The pimp-force is strong within me... Can you feel it tugging on your G-spot?

Gimme dat! WOY!

The Cosmological Argument

http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/cas/315327072.html

This poster is looking for some hot, causal sex. Unlike most posters, who loook for no-strings-attached sex, this good looking latino is loooking for sex with consequences.

The author insists you snd a pic and some info about yourself. I guess he's afraid you'll just send a blank email in response. And what would be the causal result of that? If I had to guess, based on how desperate guys on craigslist are, he'd probably try to have sex with you anyway.

GOOD LOOKING LATINO LOOKING TO MEET A SEXY FEMALE FOR CAUSAL SEX - m4w - 27

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Reply to: pers-315327072@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-20, 8:32AM EDT


IM LOOOKING TO MEET A SEXY FEMALE FOR HOT CAUSAL SEX, LADIES ONLY AND MUST HAVE A PIC....MUST ALSO SND SOME INFO ABOUT YOUR SELF

Ol' King Cole

http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/cas/314740821.html

Hi, Ladies. The author of this ad just wants to you to know one thing: he has the pole.

Glasses drop from hands and shatter on the ground! Men in tuxedos bolt from their parties and into the streets. Police sirens echo off in the distance. Santa Claus suddenly questions whether his land has been invaded.

He has the pole!

The author only realized this at 10:20am this morning. Oh my goodness! I have the pole! He raced to craigslist to share the news.

Further, he is looking a hole to plant his pole. Not only is that big news, but it rhymes! How often does that happen?

The author only wants women who are interesting to email him. I think any woman who reads this and even considers emailing this guy is, by definition, interesting to say the least.

Then, without any punctuation at all, the author thanks you for reading. What a gracious guy. No wonder the gods entrusted him with the one and only pole.

i have the pole - m4w - 38

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Reply to: pers-314740821@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-19, 10:21AM EDT


hi ladies just want you to know that i have the pole and am looking a hole to plant my pole so if you are intresting email me thank you all for reading

Paging Doctor Stupid

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/314025437.html

The author of this ad is a self-described "romantic." Nothing says romantic more than licking ass for money.

For some reason, the author thinks he can make it as a gigolo. He can get money for what every other m4w poster on craigslist is begging to give away for free. He also mysteriously insists that his services are only to be available to doctors and medical students. Because there's a group of people with low enough self esteem to do this... (also a group of people who don't realize the ridiculous grossness of having a stranger's tongue up your anus).

Great legs a plus! That's refreshing, since most guys hate great legs.

I'm especially fond of this guy's billing options: per diem or monthly stipend, first visit free. I think whatever doctor woman falls for this should diagnose this guy with ridiculously large balls.

SEEKING FEMALE MDs OR MEDICAL STUDENTS - m4ww

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Reply to: pers-314025437@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-18, 3:35AM EDT


romantic, clean, discreet male seeks respectful financially secure female md for a whats missing in my life relationship with caring tenderness and special moments. if you would like to receive great oral sex both back and front, i am available to come to to your home or office on a per diem basis in exchange for a monthly stipend(first visit free) i will go places your husband or boyfriend wont. specializing in female MDs + med students only! round butt and great legs a plus! give me a shout when you are ready! you wont be dissapointed and reciprocation is not necessary!

If a tree falls in the forest...

http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/cas/313580379.html

If a woman takes advantage of you and you're not awake to see it, what was the point? Also, how is this guy so confident that he'll have an erection while he's passed out. On that note, how does he intend to ensure he'll be passed out?

My only guess is, Romeo and Juliet style, he'll overdose on Valium and Viagra and wait for his beloved to meet him.

I find it odd this gentleman calls his erection "raging" considering the rest of him is "comatose."

I also find it odd that this dude insists on having a woman. It's not like he'd know the difference.

If I were this dude's friend, I would just take the condom, splash some water on his pants, and leave. The next morning, he'll be as happy as a kid with bubble wrap. If I were any rational woman, though, my way of "taking advantage" of this dude would be taking his wallet and getting the heck out of the hotel.

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME WHILE I AM PASSED OUT - m4w - 36

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Reply to: pers-313580379@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-17, 1:23PM EDT


HERE'S THE SCENARIO, YOU COME TO MY LOCAL HOTEL ROOM TONITE AROUND 10PM, I LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN, YOU COME INTO THE ROOM AND FIND ME PASSED OUT ON THE BED. BEST OF ALL I HAVE A RAGING ERECTION. NOW YOU CAN COMPLETELY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME. DO WHATEVER YOU DESIRE INCLUDING MOUNTING MY COCK. I WILL LEAVE A RUBBER ON THE BED IF YOU WISH TO DO SO. GET IN TOUCH EMAIL OR IM ON YAHOO:
[EMAIL ADDRESS] AT YAHOO DOT COM

This guy must have a friend in Chicago

http://newyork.craigslist.org/stn/cas/312959861.html

Reminds me a lot of this dude. Maybe they should hang out. Although this guy has the courtesy to pay you, rather than sneak in and try on your underwear.

I wonder what you'd have to do to earn $100 from this guy.

I'll Buy Your Used Thongs - m4w - 34

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Reply to: pers-312959861@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-16, 2:05PM EDT

Just like the title says. You stop by my place. You remove your pants, remove the thong (or panties) you've been wearing all day, give them to me, and I give you $25. No sex required or expected. You just have to do this in front of me so I know that you were really wearing them. I'll pay you $50 if you pee in them in front of me, and $75 if you masturbate to orgasm while wearing them in front of me.

I'm white, mid 30's, self-employed professional. If interested, shoot me an e-mail, attach your pic, and let me know when you want to do this. Can become a regular thing if we click. Great for CSI students as I'm very close by and free during the day.