Money for Sex

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/cas/335870200.html

Traditionally, craigslist has been a haven for women to basically ask for a money-for-sex exchange. This is mostly because men have such a hard time as it is acquiring sex from craigslist that they can't be picky and ask for things like money (or thinness).

This ad is unique that this woman is looking for a kept man. She offers generousity, which is British for generosity. However, it's not an entire role reversal as this woman is emasculating her man by reducing him to her child. Though this trope is not entirely lost on the other prostitute ads (referring to the benefactors as "daddys"), it does little to change the idea that it's the man that has to support the woman.

It's a little strange that "mom" is looking for a man at 5:56am on a Tuesday. Also, her idea of what young men do is a little weird as she anticipates responses with myspace pages. She wants 22-30 but seems to be expecting 15-17.

Looking for Mommy to take care of you? - w4m - 34

---

Reply to: pers-335870200@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-22, 5:56AM EDT



34 yr old white female looking for a 22-30 yr old white hottie looking for some generousity. I am looking for a long term arrangement instead of a hookup. You must be smart, healthy, and young, d/d free (this includes 420 - yes, that's a drug.) If you are interested, tell me a little about yourself and interests. Please include complete and pic in reply. Willing to help students, but you must have a somewhat flexible schedule and be willing to get a passport so we can travel. You must own a suit and have impeccable manners so that you can accompany me to work events.

I'm 34, 5'11" 135 lbs, long auburn hair, blue eyes, 36C, very generous.

Please no one line replies, or myspace pages. Replies without pic, one liners, or irrelevant answers will be discarded.

A Perfect Sexual Market

At any given moment, there are hundreds if not thousands, of people willing to have anonymous sex. They have internet access, the ability to do it safely, and the means to transport themselves to a partner and a place to have sex. So why are people lonely?

These people don't meet each other is a big reason. They sit in their apartments or at bars where it's too loud to talk or too weird for strangers to say what they feel.

CL is a big step forward in fixing this problem. Still, many folks don't know that CL exists, and even among those that do, it's not a perfect sexual market. Reading ads or posting an ad does not guarantee or even usually lead to sex. Some problems:

1. An overwhelming imbalance in the number of men seeking women compared to women seeking men.
2. A disproportionate share of unattractive and overweight people, especially in women as there are a large number of muscular and "large" men on CL
   
3. The high number of fake ads and people on the internet pretending to be people they're not
4. The lack of pictures, which not only facilitates #3 but also makes people reluctant to answer ads since they're afraid of treading below their minimum floor of attractiveness.
5. The social stigma of having sex on CL/having someone out there know that you have sex on CL

Eliminating #5 would fix a lot, but the idea of easily found sex would still appeal to men more than women. Given that online dating had a huge stigma years ago but now is considered fairly normal, there's hope that in time CL will have a reduced stigma as well.

But I think CL should charge. It should charge some low fee, like $10/mo, for the privilege to read and post. People could justify paying $10 to read the funny ads and won't have to admit at first that they want to post. This helps get rid of fake posters. Sites that charge, like match.com, have very few fake people. And it allows CL permanently ban fake people (or subject them to fees to the point where it's not profitable for them to be on CL anymore).

Ultimately, I think CL needs some sort of code of honor where what happens there stays secret. Like AA. This will allow more people to post more information on themselves and the more information and people that are out there, the better the sexual market will be.

Fake Ads

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/327978047.html

I've been meaning to tackle this subject for awhile, so here goes:

It's a widely known fact that there are a lot of fake ads on CAS. Far fewer on strictly platonic, btw. Many ads are openly ads for other sites, with the URLs right on the page. Others seem normal, but for one telltale clue: if you highlight the text, white text appears. It normally blends in the background, but upon highlighting, it becomes visible.

The ad below seems fake at first because the subject line in no way comports with the subject matter of the ad. But the fakeness giveaway is the hidden text before the actual text. It reads: gmkcbvepvnahexldcafqvhobrfyvedgalfrxipcsgxoohhblqor in regular text: gmkcbvepvnahexldcafqvhobrfyvedgalfrxipcsgxoohhblq

Why? How does it help a spammer to have this garbled text? My best guess is that it can be used to find the ad later on in the CL search engine. Many hidden texts involve actual words, though not in sensical sentences. That would better support the search engine theory. However, the garbled text doesn't seem to do much. It doesn't help the ad come up in searches that wouldn't have otherwise found the ad. It doesn't communicate anything to the average reader.

If anything, the text is a fuck you to the decent guy looking on the internet for a woman in need of punishment. A guy that did nothing wrong and who got excited about the prospect of sharing his music. It's just not right to knock a man when he's down/when he's lonely on CL at 1:57am.

bad girl needs punishment - w4m - 21

---

Reply to: pers-327978047@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-10, 1:57AM EDT
gmkcbvepvnahexldcafqvhobrfyvedgalfrxipcsgxoohhblq
i just realized that i don't really have too many friends that like the same music i do. if you're interested in going to see a show, let me know.

Missing the Point

http://newyork.craigslist.org/stn/stp/317755996.html and http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/stp/317535761.html

What is "strictly platonic?" Dictionary.com defines it as "free from sensual desire." But, as Billy Crystal argues in When Harry Met Sally, it is perhaps true that there are no platonic relationships between men and women.

I think the argument used by these authors is that, since they claim not to want insertion, their ads are not sexual. However, I don't believe making out to be a platonic act. At the very least, this violates the word "strictly" in "strictly platonic."

The gentleman's idea of platonic is hanging out with the lights out, candles lit, and tongues passionately kissing. The woman outright asks for a friend with benefits. I think that when these two meet, they'll end up getting more action than the average casual encounters poster.

What I find fascinating, though, is why these two people chose strictly platonic for their ads. Fear? The notion that they're not "casual encounters" people, some sort of inner insistence of superiority? The distinction in their mind between kissing and sex? Frankly, at a certain age, making out often leads somewhere...

Keeping in mind that the man posted in the morning and the woman posted in the early evening, I think that online dating is a weird element in the average person's average boring life. Like buying condoms, it's a disruption in the standard illusion that most people maintain that their dirty impulses don't exist. And just like the upright individual who purchases as many rolls of tape or toothbrushes as they can to minimize the attention given to the condoms, so too these people were willing only to dabble their toes in the pool of online dating. The man quickly went back to work, the woman back to her TiVo, as if nothing had ever happened.

Seeking makeout partner - m4w - 25

---

Reply to: pers-317755996@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-24, 9:31AM EDT


I am not looking for sex, just looking to make out. I am a tall, thin and attractive young guy. I have been told i am cute. I just want to meet somone who wants to hang out, watch tv or a movie, share a quiet evening at home(you know, with the lights out and just the tv or some candles on) or go out to eat or to the beach or other things. I love deep passionate tounge kissing. I am a down to earth hard working blue collar guy. I live alone and i am quite smart and very kind.

Friend with Benefits - w4m - 24

---

Reply to: pers-317535761@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-23, 9:46PM EDT


Looking for a friend who likes to hang out, watch TV and movies and also likes to make out. No strings attached and not looking for a sexual relationship, just looking for someone who wants to make out and have a good time. Someone who likes sports is a plus, must be someone with a good sense of humor.

Notes on Chicago

The Casual Encounters community of Chicago is strong. It has much in common with the New York community: frequent posts, mostly normal and a good number strange. A few observations:

1. Not as many BBWs, or at the very least, not as many people identifying themselves as BBWs in their ads. I expected more since people are heavier in the midwest, but my theory is that since corpulence is more common in Chicago than New York, larger women are able to procure sex without the internet more effectively than their heavy sisters in New York.
2. A weird background check procedure. This isn't super frequent, but several posters have posted ads asking if they have heard of a particular person and determining their reputation. This sounds odd to me since the person you're checking up on can also see your request for information and possibly send you fake beneficial information. (As I was looking for more examples of this, I noticed that all of them have been taken down.)
   
3. Far, far fewer posts WRITUN AZ IF AUTHR WUZ 6 YRS OLD. WURD.
4. About 1/3 fewer total posts than NY's Craigslist, but still a lot, especially considering the fact that the New York metropolitan area is about twice the size of Chicago's. Chicago people however, can drive to new neighborhoods for sex far easier than a New York person can take a long subway ride to another neighborhood. This makes casual encounters far more useful in Chicago than New York.

Craigslist and the Market for Cunnilingus

I have a sexually successful friend of mine who boasts that he's never performed oral sex on a woman. Though many men enjoy the act, the consensus among locker room chatter is that it's not the most desirable bedroom activity for a man. Some refuse to do it, many more are disgusted or frightened by the prospect. Lil' Kim has a song referencing her frustration getting men to perform the act.

That said, it is remarkable how much men on CL offer cunnilingus. About half of the ads from men to women either entirely focus on cunnilingus or discuss it significantly. Many ads by guys boast about their talents or discuss how weird it is that they enjoy giving it but admit a fondness for the act of giving.

One example of a cunnilingus focused ad:

Pro Pussy eater - m4w - 36

---

Reply to: pers-260780153@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-01-10, 10:12PM EST


Need your pussy eaten today?

Latin pussy here will lick and suck your pussy into submission.

Send reply for more details.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/cas/260780153.html

Notice how the author of that ad led with cunnilingus and didn't even mention any other sexual act. Is it that he's only interested in cunnlingus?

I don't think so. Another:

free orgasm - m4w - 40

---

Reply to: pers-263645165@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-01-16, 3:48PM EST


If you need a man to go down on you until you have an orgasm and not look for anything in return, let's meet somewhere so you can enjoy this free orgasm.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/cas/263645165.html

I think that men are so desperate to attract anyone on CL that they lead with what they believe to be the most attractive lure to a woman: no interest in putting them through giving oral sex and interest in giving them oral sex.

This may be tied to another trend. Many men on CL mention that they are interested in heavy women. Others insist on BBWs. In the general population, these are the women who fare the least well in the sexual marketplace. However, it may be that in CL, men are so eager for a mate that they are willing to accomodate women of all shapes and sizes.

Late Night

In general, CL has more requests from men than from women, but between ~2a and ~5a it is almost entirely men requesting. The few women requests are obvious advertisements for porn sites.

Maybe women need a comfort level they can only achieve while still somewhat awake, but I think that guys just need it more and are less able to convince themselves to give up and call it a night.

Football

There are a lot of posts lately asking guys to watch football with the author while sexual stuff ensues. A lot of the posts are the same post repeating, but there are quite a number of unique, football viewing & sex posts as well.

Rain

A lot of posts today involved the rainy weather in NY today. Maybe rain makes people more in the mood, but maybe it just keeps them at home where they become bored.

Observations

Observations about CL CAS:

New York has a lot of lonely people. I mean, it has a lot of people in general, and that contributes a lot. But maybe there's something so frustrating about seeing probably 10,000 people a day on the street, in the subway, etc... and being unable do something about it.

A good 1/3 of the posts from women are from women who describe themselves as heavy. These are women who probably do not enjoy success at bars or at work or in the "real world." Their deep horniness is something that they suffer with privately during the day, but CL provides a place where they can do something about it, around other similarly situated women. And, I bet, with some success.

Of the posts from men, I'd say about half are men seeking men, far out of proportion of the actual men seeking men population (unless about half of all new york men are, in fact, gay). This suggests to me that, especially late at night, it's hard to be a gay man seeking sexual release in New York, even with so many other similar men in the city. Maybe a lack of bars, maybe because the gay bar scene just doesn't do it for a lot of men, maybe because a lot of people are in the closet.

Of the remaining men seeking posts, I'm surprised they don't just answer the women seeking posts (although to be honest, it's a woman's market on CL). Men are far more eager to post their pictures; perhaps they have less to lose. Many have handsome pictures, and those that post penis pictures usually have, I hate to admit it, fairly impressive penises. My major observation is just how desperate and numerous the posts seem. They're not as ornate or imaginative as the women posts. They're just sad guys, lots of them, hoping for sex to fall from the sky.

Double Standards

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/232926756.html

It saddens me to report that this woman will get a hundred responses whereas a man in a similar position would get zero.

The post is stupid, even comments on its own stupidity, and the author admits she's in a relationship. But a lady who is bored as "heck" can find comfort on the net. Men are not so lucky.

BORED AS HECK - w4m (Midtown)

---

Reply to: pers-232926756@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-11-10, 2:05PM EST


help help help i need a distraction tick tock tick tock just starin at the clock....oh help me i'm going into stupid ryhme...

i miss my lover too....damn him....