The author of this post tells you about four sexual encounters he had. Then he tells you these stories again. Then he asks you to email him to ask him to retell one of the stories a third time. Once was really more than necessary.
This post is far too long to mock line-by-line. Instead, I'd just like to list some quotes that I think are amazing:
- "Hot newsanchor/CEO type woman" - What? What CEO of a media company is also the anchorwoman on its news broadcast?
- "the best blowjobber by far" - My favorite Rolling Stones song was "Blowjobber Blues"
- "good old fash cock/pussy intercourse" - Old fash!
- "ye' olde clitoris" -
- This chick must have been really really old
- Why is there an apostrophe after ye?
- "If not careful, her bottom could become A BOTTOM." - I hope she was careful, or she could have ended up IN ALL CAPS.
- "It was great! but it wasn't good for me at all" - This guy is totally ridiculous! but he is the wisest man alive.
My "corporate wanker" to "handyman stud" sex tales - m4w
Reply to: pers-258323626@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-01-05, 10:23PM EST
It took 40 years for me to have wild, unexpected sexual romps with some mighty fine ladies. I thought 40 would be "dad years" and being practical. I had me a real good time instead :) It all started when job I had for 12 years in corporate America was outsourced...for good. I had made a big mistake by joining in the management craze instead of staying skilled and up to date on technologies. But I went from feeling helpless over my future (and I'll admit this now...feeling a bit wormy and wimpy about it) to putting on a toolbelt, letting my hair grow just a tad, putting on steel toe work boots, and not caring one bit about not ever wanting to go back to shirt-and-tie. Who knew that a stunning 38 year old woman would randomly give me the best blowjob of my life? Who knew a nice, polite, conservative Indian doctor and I would go on a nature hike and we'd wind up acting out "the birds and the bees"? How could I have known the future also held love making with a mom of teenage daughters who hadn't had sex in four years? I always felt 3somes were immoral...just may have peaked at a few two babes/one guy porn posts but to actually engage in one? Nope, not me. That opens a door that I think may not be a good idea to enter through. Whoops...scratch 3some of the list thanks to two 25 years olds. I never had a one night stand in my life. I never chased women. I had morals, ethics, and values. I had loving commited relationships. How did these 4 sexual romps within 2 years span happen? I had no explanation other than "the handyman fantasy". They all resulted from women hiring me to work for them or someone hiring me and they just happened to be there. I won't say all women fell into my persuassions since I worked for a lot, or near a lot of women in my tool belt. But there were quite a few flirties who just wanted to watch or investigate and there were 4 who went all the way.
I had always been tall, attractive, nice guy but never a lady's man nor ever a guy that worked on being sexy. I just think I went from tired, righteous, corporate guy to desired, hunky, friendly, irresistable handyman because that's what was in the cards for me. I have no explanation but I'll share these stories with you because I've never shared them with anyone for fear of being judged "you did what?!!" from my familiar crowd who I also have slowly faded from. But I have to tell someone! So I'll tell you.
You choose from these which one you want to hear about. I give you all the hot details.
1) Hot newsanchor/CEO type woman (extremely good looking, nicely dressed and smart) springs a completely out of nowhere cock sucking for all ages...perhaps because she thinks I'm a younger guy and I don't let on I'm not. I'm stunned and shocked as nothing like this has evey remotely come close to happening before. She is the best looking woman I've ever been sexual with and she's the best blowjobber by far. I'm a nice guy...nice guys get to do things like this.
2) Very nice person needs work done to her house before she sells. A doctor from India, she's pleasant, nice, friendly. She likes nature walks...I recommend a place she should go. She emails to ask if I know a group that might hike there. I email back saying I'd show her the place. For the second time in less than 4 months another completely out of nowhere sexual explosion by another great lady who's quite attractive. (What's going on here!? is all I can think). A quiet birdwatching hut in a nature preserve leads to me leaning over her to point out a rare bird she can't see, a kiss, and escalates into a very gentle, soft, fully clothed, love making session with her sitting nicely on my lap. It also is the first time a woman has an orgasm during intercourse for me. The first time ever I've had sex with a woman who had vaginal orgasm caused by good old fash cock/pussy intercourse. I little finger manipulation on ye' olde clitoris had been required up until this point to achieve the big O during intercourse with previous girlfriends. But the emotions, surprise, taboo, perhaps pent up sexuality can't be held back as she bear hugs my neck, cries out, and holds on for dear life while unexpected orgasms out in nature make us both feel like one...and practically wrench my neck from her fierce grip around my neck and face to face compaction during "wow!" orgasms from her.
3) A really cool, together, doing the right thing, admirable, over worked, no social life, divorced mom to teenage girls, still sexy but a little run down, shows me stretches/massages for my slighty stiffed up shoulder and winds up getting a shagging she hadn't had in quite some time. With a new lady's man confidence brought on by first two other sexual encounters I sense she would be up for some attention/affection but is just too nice/shy/conservative to openly flirt. Initially a little ashamed of her body because of "a few extra pounds" she's convinced doesn't make her bare bottom I'm kissing particulary sexy, she's convinced finally by me she's cute and desired and gets her pussy licked to an orgasm. Then again I have a second time where a woman has an orgasm by intercourse alone as we make sweet kissing love with her lying back in her bed and her legs wrapped tight around me. A fast, hot, skin slapping, deep cock, doggy style sex shakes and jiggles the "few extra pounds" in her round bottom giving my hands something nice to dig into as a third orgasm rocks through her whole body and putting an end to a perfect hour together as I give a porno type ending by having my own amazing orgasm that squirts all over her bottom and back.
4) 3some with 20somethings - Big boobed Italian girl with big legs, big nose and her petite tiny tits Asian-American friend. Some girls are sexy because of personality and confidence. Gena was such a person. The more you saw her the more beautiful she became but she wasn't attractive if using magazine covers is the standard. She had a nose that arched but it gave her a unique look. She had a round bottom and strong powerful legs. If not careful, her bottom could become A BOTTOM. But she pulled it off with her gorgeous smile, black hair, green eyes, and a rack of boobs that women pay 10s of thousands of dollars to get and still don't get. Asian-American Ashley with no boobs and flat bottom. But she was skinny, toned, and very pretty. If she had boobs and an ass she'd be incredibly hot but most of us can't have it all. They were young, confident, happy, laughing, joyous, respectful, polite, but rich brats who liked to party a bit...and swim in the indoor poor within the room I was working. Gena was pushing it with thong bikini but she was just toned and young enough to keep herself within the outer bounds of someone who should wear a thong. Her incredible breasts, tight tummy, smooth skin, big but cute nose, and otherwise pretty face made me take notice. Ashley was certifiable cute. They were openly flaunting in front of me as this massive house had plenty of rooms besides the one I was in. They seduced me plain and simple. They were horny, hot, for each other, for me. They held nothing back. The time I had with them caused to to reevaluate this giddy new experience I'd been having: attractive women suddenly wanting to have sex with me. It was great! but it wasn't good for me at all...I felt like a bad person...but yet I still catch myself smiling when I day dream.
Which story do you want to hear first because I want to share it with someone. If I tell a friend, it'll get back around to family and big families eventually get tidbits of things like this. I don't want them to know about it. I like the way they think of me. Some things are personal. Let's keep this between you and I.
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