If you need Microsoft Word to have sex, don't ask that talking paper clip for help.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/263504594.html

This is possibly one of the dumbest ideas I've seen on the site. And I've seen some bad ideas.

So, the author of the ad arrives at your house and says nothing. Creepy? A bit, but whatever. It's somewhat plausible.

Here's where it gets weird: the author has some sort of deaf woman/Stephen Hawking fetish where you have to type the things you want him to do to you. Worse yet, he tells you what he wants you to type. So what's the point of you typing it? Is he turned on by the clickety-clack of the keyboard?

Also, if his face is buried in your chest, how can he read what you're typing on the computer screen? Do your boobs have a screen in them? Can they reflect light? Also, if his head is in your chest, isn't it a bit awkward to be typing? Where is his head relative to your computer desk? This is just poorly thought out.

What's sad is that the author seems to want to take cybersex, a sad sad terrible non-substitute for real sex, and replace elements of real sex with it. That's almost as bad as replacing real smiles with a colon and a closed parenthesis.

On the plus side, if she doesn't speak English, you can use Babelfish to make the casual encounter work. That totally widens your pool.

You type, I lick, you cum - m4w - 28 (Downtown)

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Reply to: pers-263504594@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-01-16, 11:52AM EST


You're at your computer in panties and a tank top. Your fingers are in your panties, your pussy is soaking. I knock on the door. You let me in. I don't talk. You go back to sitting at your computer. I stand behind you. You start typing on a blank screen. You write: Slip your hand down my panties. In real life, I do. You moan as you feel my touch on your swollen clit. You write: Play with my tits. I teases your nipples over your shirt with my other hand. You write: suck on my tits. I lift your shirt, get between your legs and take your tits in my mouth. You write: slip my panties down. I do. You write: lick my pussy. I do. You open your legs wide for me. My tongue teases your swollen clit.
And so on. Would you be interested in making this real today? Right now? I'm tall, cute, trim, white and ready. You?