It doesn't really matter who you are

http://newyork.craigslist.org/fct/stp/316950418.html

The author sums up her entire existence in five words: attractive face, personality. fat ass. If that doesn't sound like an amazing epitaph, I don't know what does.

This recent divorcee and reader of the Onion runs with her posse. She doesn't specify if it's the crips or the bloods, but does hint that she runs with the tough gang that makes frequent potty stops. Watch out, she's a girl from the rough part of Fairfield county, Connecticut, and she'll fuck you up.

She's looking for a friend on the internet at 1:18am. She talks a lot about herself, her fat ass, and her divorce. She calls you a pervert, even though you haven't said a word to her yet. She admits she'll ramble on incoherently. She tells you she doesn't care at all about what you're like. She has a fat ass and she won't hook up with you. If you need her for a friend, you may have more social problems than she has.

She notifies the reader that she's "fruity and off-kilter." Thanks for the heads-up, Queen Obvious. That didn't come across at all in your fruity and off-kilter work of art.

Consider yourself lucky that you'll likely never meet.

Attractive face, personality. Fat ass. - w4m - 33

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Reply to: pers-316950418@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-23, 1:18AM EDT


Seeking NSA conversation. I don't want to talk about my feelings, but
if you know who Smoove B. is and have read "Our Dumb Century", then we
would probably get along. I realize these are shallow criteria for
conversational compatibility, but I'm sticking with them for now. Me:
getting divorced, but not bitter. I usually run with my "posse" (with
frequent potty stops), but am not looking for anyone to get involved in my
life or drama. FYI: I'm reasonably well-traveled, educated, etc (I suppose
this is highly subjective, but I'm willing to expound) (Not like that,
you pervert). I'm severely sleep-deprived and over-caffeinated, so
please be amenable to random running commentaries on completely inane
subject-matter. I am slightly fruity and off-kilter, but really happy with
my life. I'm just trying to prepare myself for the dating scene by
attempting to hone my gender-specific social skills.

You: It doesn't really matter since I won't be fucking you. No dick
shots, please.

Can't wait to hear from you so we can exchange endless e-mails replete with overt sexual tension tempered by the reality that we will likely never meet!