Just like the classic John Hughes film Home Alone, this adventure takes place in Chicago. Our plucky protagonist is just a little bit older than Kevin McAllister though. He's 25.
When Kevin Sr. told us he was home alone, I thought he was posting because this was a rare occasion. Finally! The house to myself! Time to take advantage of this opportunity! He cleared that up really fast by saying he has the place to himself every day because he lives by himself and has no friends.
He invites no one to his home because he's afraid of weirdos or crazies. PEOPLE WHO WRITE IN ALL CAPS ABOUT HOW THEY ARE ALWAYS ALONE SHOULDN'T BE THE ONES AFRAID OF WEIRDOS. Also, you're the one who wants to handcuff and blindfold a woman while you molest her. I again contend you're not the one who should be afraid.
The author shares the fact that he has fantasized about having a guest who wants him badly. He calls that the "weird part" of his story. That's the least weird part of his story. In fact, that's actually normal.
The author says he likes to go down on "her" (you?) like there's no tomorrow. If the world was ending tomorrow, I don't know if I'd spend the entirety of my last hours with my head between a woman's legs. I'd probably call my loved ones and tell them I love them or maybe do one last good deed to redeem my soul (which Kevin does in New York!). Something stupid like that. Or maybe just panic and cry.
The author wants you to hurry but then says he's not available until tomorrow. What's the hurry? Does he have to adjust his schedule, which right now seems to be filled with sitting home alone? Apparently not, since he's free every day between tomorrow and the day he becomes occupied with defending his house against comic intruders with a series of elaborate traps.
HOME ALONE, LOOKING FOR NSA HOOKUP - m4w - 25
Reply to: pers-310249352@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-11, 6:59PM CDT
I AM ALL ALONE IN MY PLACE, LIVE BY MYSELF. I HAVE THE PLACE BY MYSELF EVERYDAY, BUT I HAVE NEVER INVITED ANYONE HOME FOR THE FEAR OF SOME WEIRDO OR CRAZY GIRL.
BUT THE REAL WEIRD PART IS THAT I HAVE ALWAYS FANTASIZED HAVING SOMEONE OVER WHO WANTS ME BAAADDDD.
I LOVE 69, DOGGY STYLE, COWBOY RIDE AND MOST OF ALL, I LOVE TO GO DOWN ON HER. NOT JUST FOR A MIN OR TWO. I MEAN GO DOWN LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW. I WANT HER TO CUM ON MY FACE, I WANT HER TO CUM A FEW TIMES SO THAT SHE CAN PULL ME UP BEGGING ME TO ENTER HER...
I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ENDLESS EMAILS, HOWEVER I DO LIKE TO FIRST KNOW WHO I M CALLING OVER. I AM HORNY, NOT DESPERATE. I AM WILLING TO TRY ANYTHING THAT IS SAFE AND FUN.
IF YOU HAVE HANDCUFFS, I WOULD LOVE TO BLINDFOLD YOU WHILE I HANDCUFF YOU AND THEN GO DOWN ON YOU....PLEASE HURRY...WE CAN MEET TOMORROW EVENING, FRIDAY, OVER THE WEEKEND...YOU NAME IT....
I AM D/D FREE, WITH NO BS, NO DRAMA. I JUST HOPE YOU ARE TOO.
GOOD LUCK TO BOTH OF US.
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