Hi, I'm an ethnic stereotype

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/cas/331825697.html

Hi Girls.

I'd like to introduce you to Indian Guy. That's his name. He thinks that 5'5" is attractive and, like many of his fellow Indian men, he's educated (possibly a doctor!) He's got money and will take you on some trip (possibly as an arranged marriage) for week end some where at his expance once you call him on the tellephone. Whatever he was educated in, it wasn't English.

If anything, this man does us a public service by shattering the terrible stereotype of Indian Americans as overachieving feminine weirdos and instead replacing it with the terrible stereotype of Indian Americans as good kissers :)

Seriously, I wonder if 1205a on Wednesday is the right time to plan a weekend trip. I'm guessing the women reading m4w at 1205a on Wednesday are looking for someone for, say, 105a on Wednesday and not this weekend, when they've sobered up and realize what they're doing.

*****ANY SWEET GIRL WANT TO GO OUT*********** - m4w - 30

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Reply to: pers-331825697@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-16, 12:05AM EDT


HI GIRLS

I'M INDIAN GUY, ATTRACTIVE, EDUCATED, VERY GOOD KISSER :), 5'5''
LET GO FOR WEEK END SOME WHERE

ALL MY EXPANCES

PLEASE REPLY WITH PICTURE & TELLEPHONE

Gosh Darnit

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/331125582.html

How does the author of this ad react to the mass death of every one of the million women in Manhattan? "What a shame !!" It's as if the author feels that he's the real victim in that genocide.

In reality, this 47 year old is probably mistaken since I have spoken to some women to make sure this weird Children of Men scenario did not really take place. Women are still alive in Manhattan! You heard it here first!

So, I guess, I too am quirious as to why no one is responding to this sophisticated social critic. Especially on such a nice day.

The ad, written in the language of kings/ALL CAPS, then goes on to points out that the author really is quirious. Good thing he confirmed that his bizarre curiousity/fifth-grade spelling skills at the age of 47 weren't a joke. Otherwise it wouldn't be scary.

Lastly, he'd like us to RSVP. I didn't know he was having a party (maybe that explains the lack of responses!). I wonder if he knows that RSVP doesn't mean to please respond (which I guess is what the French translation literally means) but instead to respond regarding attendance to a specific event. If he doesn't then... what a shame !!

WHAT A SHAME !! - m4w - 47 (Midtown East)

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Reply to: pers-331125582@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-15, 1:30AM EDT


ALL WOMEN IN MANHATTAN DEAD ? OR WHAT ?
NO RESPONSE ON THIS NICE DAY,WHAT HAPPENED ?
I AM QUIRIUOS.
REALLY.
RSVP

Garfield Enters the World of Online Dating

http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/cas/330513370.html

This gentleman has conflicting views on Mondays. He begins his ad stating his distaste for the first business day of the week, but then describes the day itself as one filled with possibility and opportunity and even calls it "beautiful Monday" towards the end of his ad.

You could meet this stranger in a park or by the beach and if you are mutually turn on, you could have mind blowing off the wall sex for hours. I'd be surprised if someone who lacks the subtlety to use lower case letters at all is a delicate enough lover to make sex mind blowing or off the wall. In his defense, at the age of 44, sex may take hours before he can develop an erection.

This man is a professional, but not so professional that he has to be at work or that he can't be absent for hours upon hours. Also, if this guy is 44 and single and rich, you should immediately start wondering what terrible nonobvious flaw this guy has that has rendered him posting for sex at 1037a on a Monday, well into his 40s.

Then again, he has curky hair and he can make today a day to remember... as the day you got herpes.

I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS!!!! - m4w - 44

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Reply to: pers-330513370@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-14, 10:37AM EDT


I HATE MONDAYS..........SO I TOOK OFF TODAY. WOULD LOVE TO MAKE THE BEST OF THIS DAY. IT'S BEAUTIFUL OUT, WE COULD MEET IN A PARK OR NEAR THE BEACH. HAVE A COFFEE, CHAT, GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER AND IF WE ARE BOTH MUTUALLY TURN ON BY EACH OTHER MAKE THE BEST OF THE DAY BY HAVING MIND BLOWING OFF THE WALL SEX WITH EACH OTHER FOR HOURS......SOUND GOOD? ME PROFESSIONAL, 6'1 DARK CURKY HAIR, BLUE/GREEN EYES AND A BODY THAT WILL MAKE LOVE TO YOU FOR HOURS...NON-STOP. LETS CHAT AND EXCHANGE SOME PICS. WHY LET THIS BEAUTIFUL MONDAY GET AWAY, WHEN WE COULD MAKE IT A DAY TO REMEMBER.........

Goosebumps

http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/cas/330303170.html

This doesn't even sound like a good idea. At best, it sounds not stupid. In practice, reading 120 pages of 7th grade horror while your fingers are inside of some stranger from the internet's navel is just awkward.

But, then again, guys have a demand for sex that is willing to accommodate the bizarre whims of the short supply. So men who aren't belly button fetishists per se will likely fake it because, hey, we're willing to pretend if it means sex. But seriously, after 3 chapters of reading while a girl's fingers lie limp and useless inside of your belly button, even the desperate-est guy will start to wonder what the hell he's doing.

If this girl is the girl of your dreams, you're probably in the 7th grade yourself. You're not sure what sex entails and figure it has something to do with belly buttons. Your ideal date involves reading Fear Street and a woman who says "totally serious." You've got a lot of growing up to do.

Also, who writes "signed" at the end of a letter? It's implied, weirdo.

"Please let that be you..." - w4m - 22

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Reply to: pers-330303170@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-13, 10:26PM EDT


You: hot greek stud, big muscles and a huge cock.
MUST HAVE A BELLY BUTTON FETISH!!
I want to put my fingers in your belly button while I read R.L. Stine novels out loud to you.
Come on baby.
Come and get it, if you dare.



reply only if you're totally serious.
signed,
the girl of your dreams.

Fake Ads

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/327978047.html

I've been meaning to tackle this subject for awhile, so here goes:

It's a widely known fact that there are a lot of fake ads on CAS. Far fewer on strictly platonic, btw. Many ads are openly ads for other sites, with the URLs right on the page. Others seem normal, but for one telltale clue: if you highlight the text, white text appears. It normally blends in the background, but upon highlighting, it becomes visible.

The ad below seems fake at first because the subject line in no way comports with the subject matter of the ad. But the fakeness giveaway is the hidden text before the actual text. It reads: gmkcbvepvnahexldcafqvhobrfyvedgalfrxipcsgxoohhblqor in regular text: gmkcbvepvnahexldcafqvhobrfyvedgalfrxipcsgxoohhblq

Why? How does it help a spammer to have this garbled text? My best guess is that it can be used to find the ad later on in the CL search engine. Many hidden texts involve actual words, though not in sensical sentences. That would better support the search engine theory. However, the garbled text doesn't seem to do much. It doesn't help the ad come up in searches that wouldn't have otherwise found the ad. It doesn't communicate anything to the average reader.

If anything, the text is a fuck you to the decent guy looking on the internet for a woman in need of punishment. A guy that did nothing wrong and who got excited about the prospect of sharing his music. It's just not right to knock a man when he's down/when he's lonely on CL at 1:57am.

bad girl needs punishment - w4m - 21

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Reply to: pers-327978047@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-10, 1:57AM EDT
gmkcbvepvnahexldcafqvhobrfyvedgalfrxipcsgxoohhblq
i just realized that i don't really have too many friends that like the same music i do. if you're interested in going to see a show, let me know.

The last call you'll ever make

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/327469150.html

The author of this ad, who writes in the all-caps genre of seduction, is a freak n so horny. However, for some reason, she will shut off her computer right after posting the ad and insist you call up her boyfriend in Washington Heights and tell him the following:

1. I'm going to use your girlfriend for sex
2. I heard you were gay
3. I'm a close friend of Nessa's, but if you ask me anything about her, I'll quickly get caught in a lie.
4. I'm a close friend of Nessa's, like the nine other people you've never heard of who have just called.

This is asking to get beaten up.

I like the fact that this boyfriend is ok with dudes using his girl for sex, but the mention of craigslist bothers him. Maybe if she had met her lovers in bars or at the supermarket it would be far more wholesome infidelity.

Also, why does she give you her boyfriend's cell number? Does she not have her own phone? Her 973 # isn't a landline since she's in Washington Heights and 973 is New Jersey. Is there any other number she could have possibly given out for sex besides her boyfriend's number?

On that topic, if she's so horny and she's with her boyfriend... why doesn't that problem just solve itself?

I NEED SEX NOW - w4m (Inwood / Wash Hts)

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Reply to: pers-327469150@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-09, 12:03PM EDT


MY NAME IS NESSA IM A FREAK PERSON N SO HORNY , IM LOOKING FOR A MAN ONLY FOR SEX .. SO THIS IS MY NUMBER CALL ME [#]/[#]/[#]/[#]/[#]/[#]/[#]/[#]/[#]/[#]... MY BOY IS GONNA ANSWER HE DONT MIND CAUSE HE IS GAY TOO.... IT DONT MATTER ASK FOR ME VANESSA N TELL HIM THE YOU LOOKING FOR ME FOR SEX .. HE KNOWS JUST TELL HIM YOU ARE A CLOSE FRIND OF MINE IF HE ASK.... IM JUST LOOKING FOR A NSA FUN NOTHING ELSE ..... NO DRAMA VERY DISCREET... GUYS FROM 20-25 ONLY .... DONT EMAIL ME JUST CALL ME .... N HURRY CAUSE IM HORNY ... DONT TELL MY BOY IS SOMEONE FROM CRAIGSLIST.. OK WELL SEE YA ..... CALL ME ....

Ass Pirate

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/326781335.html

Arr matey! Lick me hole!

This is a rare pirate who addresses her first mate as "sweety." On the topic of rarities, she's the only person I know who puts her fondness for swimming and snorkeling two sentences away from her desire for a stranger's tongue in her rectum. Girls like that are hard to find.

Why does she even tell us she likes snorkeling? In Manhattan, it's not as if whatever casual encounter you have will involve a trip to the coral reef.

Then again, this woman doesn't just want a casual encounter. She wants a serious relationship. And what better way to start one than with a "short note"? Anything too long will scare this ass pirate who wants to snorkel with you away.

Lick me hole!! - w4m

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Reply to: pers-326781335@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-08, 12:24PM EDT


Greetings sweety! My hobbies includes swimming and snorkeling. I want to meet some good diver out there for a date... he must be a good lover also for a serious relationship. hit me back with a short note if interested!