How can a baby pay you back?

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/302936608.html

What is it that the author of this ad likes about wearing diapers? Does she think her ass looks good in Huggies? Does she just like being able to relieve herself in public? I'm surprised she made the brave decision to reveal this about herself.

Also, how does the author know she likes baby food? I guess when you wear diapers, it's not the biggest leap to say, "Hmm... Might as well try some Gerber's Strained Peas." I also wonder how the author can incorporate smashed carrot paste into something sexual with her creepy internet daddy.

I don't think any baby should look for a daddy who's attracted to their baby daughter, so I'm not sure exactly what "experience" the author is looking for. If the dad is looking for 18 year olds on the internet, I'm guessing his first "experience" at being a baby daddy didn't work out so well.

But I do give the author credit though. Only a real baby would confuse fraternal and paternal.

adult baby needs her diaper changed - will repay her Daddy! - w4m - 18

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Reply to: pers-302936608@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-03-30, 1:19AM EDT


I like to wear diapers.. have accidents.. have Daddy clean me up and play with me. I like to eat baby food, be fed... be cooed at.. sleepin cribs... drink from bottles...I want a loving dominant Daddy who seeks a REAL baby girl who will do ANYTHING to make her loving Daddy as happy as he can be. Must be older and must be somewhat experienced for me to get into the role. Please contact me if you have that fraternal instinct.. baby needs her Daddy!!!!!!!!!! And baby will make it up to her Daddy! ;)

I'll wait for a free one to come along

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/258335313.html

The author claims she is disease free. Apparently a fungal infection is not a disease. Hopefully the author isn't also hiding crabs and herpes under the belief that those aren't diseases either. Isn't her whole deal that she has a disease?

She then begins to auction off the right to smell her vagina like she was on QVC. She calls it "truly a classic," like it was a Collector's Plate from the Franklin Mint. She also claims it to be a CL first. Apparently it is not. Another CL poster writes:

That's not a first or very crafty its called chunking and lot of people on CL are into it. I met an obese woman who had a yeast infection for several weeks and didn't wash her punanny and wore rubber panties for the whole time and then posted I lapped it all up and she told me there two guys coming over after me. Chunking is awesome. Once you taste chunk you can't live without it.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/258365130.html

Secondly, the fact that no one on the internet has done something before is so totally not a reason to sniff a diseased vagina. If anything, you should avoid doing anything that not even someone on the internet has never done before.

Lastly, it's terrible that the author charges for this service. Sadly, the fact that capitalism screws over the yeast infection fetishists remains overlooked in the study of economics.

Do you have a Yeast infection fetish??? Wanna touch , smell? - w4m - 25

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Reply to: pers-258335313@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-01-05, 10:56PM EST


I am disease free,
i took some antibiotics for the flu and the damn medicine left me with a freakin yeast infection for a couple of days. if anyone is interested , let me know.. and yes you need roses for this one, lots of damn roses.. this is truly a classic and prob a Craigs list first.

And for the losers who are gonna email me, and say how disgusting I am ,,hell i aleady know, at least I can be crafty even if I am out of female commission for a while.

Low Standards

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/233821331.html


This guy's covered all of his angles. Maybe the girl of his dreams doesnt have email, so he gives his AIM. Maybe no AIM, so he gives his Yahoo. But then again, if the girl of his dreams is blind, a midget, and in a wheelchair, he should make himself as accessible as possible...

What weirds me out is that these are three separate fetishes. He's not just into wheelchair chicks, but also midgets and the blind. And etc! That's just low standards.

Seeks Unsual Situations?..wheelchair/midgit/blind/etc!...Nsa Wild Fun! - m4w - 27

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Reply to: pers-233821331@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-11-12, 4:03PM EST


SEND ME PICS/INFO..

MY AOL/AIM NAME IS =[name removed]=

MY YAHOO NAME IS...=[name removed]=

IM IN NOW TO HOOK IT UP!...MUST BE REAL/SERIOUS TO DO THIS!

ANY GIRLS GAME?....(WEIRD SITUATIONS!) LIKE I SAID ABOVE!..ANY TAKERS?

I can pinpoint the moment this post goes downhill

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/233466514.html

Okay, so I wasn't 100% sure what a "blumpkin" is (I was guessing oral sex), so this ad started normal... and then took a turn.

It begins with a legit fantasy about oral sex in a public bathroom. Dirty? Yes. But not outside of the realm of understandable.

"I want you to release from both ends." See, at first, I didn't understand. Then our author writes, "you fill the bowl with your bowel movement."

That was the moment that post went downhill.

Our author would like "it as smelly as possible," requesting that her mate "eat tyes of food that make you produce a lot of gas or really smelly movements."

Now she's not entirely crazy. She writes, "I know other girls may think this is gross." (Note the use of the word "may," as if maybe other girls hear this and go "Oh! You too?! I thought it was just me!")

She continues, "I usually get really wet whenever I even smell a fart from a good looking guy." Farts from ugly men are, of course, disgusting.

She gets more graphic and then finally opens the possibility of moving this tryst to her place "so I can close the bathroom door and keep your scent inside my house after you are gone... Also if you want to leave me with a condom full you of your left over sperm I would love to have it to swallow after you are gone."

Now, I'm into weird stuff, too. I'm not here to judge. I just wish she defined "blumpkin" before I started reading her prose and imagining the scene in my head.

Also isn't it weird to just drink sperm by yourself? Doesn't that make you a sperm-a-holic?

Female in East Village - w4m - 24

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Reply to: pers-233466514@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-11-11, 5:40PM EST


Female looking to give blumpkin to nice looking guy this this evening or
early tomorrow morning. (frat guy or guys in suits a big plus). I posted
this ad last week and met two really nice guys, so I thought I would try
again this week, I'm located in a nice building and you could come up to my
place and we could use my bathroom, or we could find a public bathroom
somewhere like a coffee shop, or even in the park after dark. I just want
to feel you sliding down my throat as I kneel in front of you. When you
are ready to come, I want you to stuff it deep into my throat and hold my
head while I rub my wet clit on your leg, then I want you to release from
both ends. I want to gag three times -once when you put your hard shaft
down my throat, then once when you fill the bowl with your bowel movement
,and finally when you first spurt down my throat into my stomach. I like
it as smelly as possible while I'm swallowing and rubbing myself on your
hairy leg. If you can eat tyes of food that make you produce a lot of
gas or really smelly movements, that would be ideal. I know other
girls may think this is gross, but I really enjoy the smell and I usually
get really wet whenever I even smell a fart from a good looking guy.
I know some guys think this is freaky, but I don't care, its
what I really like. I just like staring at your steamy mess afterwards.
It would be great if you could plan toeat a big meal several hours before
you come over so you can have an explosive BM. Its nice if we do this at
my place, so I can close the bathroom door and keep your scent inside my
house after you are gone, but its also fun to do this in public restrooms.
I would really love to do this with guys who can take a huge dump while
ejaculating. Also if you want to leave me with a condom full you of
your left over sperm I would love to have it to swallow after you
are gone. I know I sound freaky, but I'm really a normal girl,I just got
into giving blumpkins at college and it is the only way I can have
an intense orgasm.If you don't know what a blumpkin is, or if you aren't
interested in receiving one, then we probably aren't a match. Please send
me a pic if you are interested and let me know what day/time works for you
and how you would like things to go during our meeting.

The difference between hurt and harm

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/233486961.html

This one starts off with a normal enough subject line: Do you like pain?

I thought they meant bread, so I clicked. I learned that the poster is "skilled in spanking, the use of clothespins, bondage and floggers." Ahh, the fine art of floggers. He is skilled well in this art. After having taken a three hour course in a hotel meeting room, our poster knows the risks involved and the delicate procedures involved in attaching clothespins to people.

"Most importantly I know the difference between hurt and harm." Good job! Now do you also know how the two are closely related?

The poster only wants replies from "sane" females, by which he means "females who want clothespins and flogging from some internet stranger." You can't just practice the fine art of spanking on anybody.

My favorite closing line: "If you don't know [you want me to flog you] but know you do [want me to flog you] I can help you realize it [presumably through the fine art of floggery]."

Finally! I've been looking for this.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/233395325.html

I'm not surprised that the kind of guy who's inhaled this much methane doesn't have a grasp of English or grammar.

He doesn't describe himself at all (unlike many other m4w ads), but I guess if you're in the facial gas market, beggars can't be choosers.

Wouldn't it be terrible if the girl shows up and then can't produce?

want to fart on my face....... - m4w - 28 (Inwood / Wash Hts)

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Reply to: pers-233395325@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-11-11, 2:49PM EST


hey whats going on 28m nyc looking for a kinky girl to have some fun with. be hot to bend you over spread that ass and while licking it, fart on me....hit me up if you like to take charge and be nasty

Niche Market

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/233258305.html

How do you pleasure someone's feet? Apparently it's distinct from tickling (though it can be done in conjunction with it).

My guess is licking? Whatever it is, this 39 year old single white guy with a foot fetish (who totally doesn't fit the profile of a serial killer) is very good at what he does!

I want the spatula!

http://newyork.craigslist.org/wch/cas/232739688.html

I love that this post comes from Westchester.

Now I'm from the old west, where gunslinging was the traditional means of giving out punishment, and we'd usually wait for the sheriff to dole it out. But this kind lady is asking guilty people to come forward and get their comeuppance.

Not just with hands, either. You could get it with the other traditional Westchester punishment tools. Like a hairbrush. Or a bath brush (?). Or a spatula.

"But when it's all over and you're standing with your nose in the corner showing off your well-spanked bottom you'll feel better." Imagine this for a second. So she finishes spanking you. Then you turn to a corner and just stand there? And somehow you feel better?

"Write me soon, the longer you wait, the worse it will be." I like her strategy: instill fear to incentivize a reply. If you don't write her at all, she will come to your house and wail on you with a remote control. Or a playstation. Or a tire iron.

any naughty boys need a spanking? - w4m - 22

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Reply to: pers-232739688@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-11-10, 3:05AM EST


It's alright sweetie. I know you've got a lot of guilt. It's time to let it out. Be a good boy, own up to your punishment. You know that you deserve it. Tell me what you did and I'll decide just how much punishment you need. You're going to tell me exactly what you did and why you deserve to be spanked like a bad little boy. You may only need to be put over my knee and handspanked, or you may need the hairbrush, bath brush, belt or spatula. But when it's all over and you're standing with your nose in the corner showing off your well-spanked bottom you'll feel better. Write me soon, the longer you wait, the worse it will be.