About 4 cubits

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/cas/313321797.html

I'm unsure as to why this woman is posting on casual encounters. Is she looking for an explanation, or anonymous sex? Were she looking for the latter, she would be well-advised to stick to the basics, like "5-foot-4, 330 lb BBW in Brooklyn looking for NSA sex with blonde guy." Instead, she's trying to get all cute, and ask questions, without actually specifying how large she is. It won't work. I know, because whenever I pretend to be a fat chick trolling the internet for some love, dudes never get back to me when I don't give specifics. Believe me, I do this all the time.

When you Guys Say BBW How Big Do You Actually Mean?!? - w4m

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Reply to: pers-313321797@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-17, 12:08AM EDT


Well the title pretty much says it all. Do you mean Big as in Rosie ODonnell Big, big as in Monique (the comedian big) or big/full figured like with a shape still?

I dont think I get the term, please help!

Attack of the GIANT BREAST!

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/303405799.html

This ad cuts straigh to the point: the author has a giant breast! Thus, you should sleep with her. What part of that equation needs further explanation?

I urge you not to focus on the regular sized breast that sits to the left of and somewhat beneath her enormous sister. She doesn't even get a mention in this ad.

She mentions five separate times that she is a heavy woman. This is especially interesting given the brevity of the ad. Not including "and" and "with," the ad has 16 words and numbers, of which 5 tell you that she's a big woman. Over 1 out of every 3 words of this ad is "I'm HUGE." That's an amazing ratio.

All this generous, thick And sexy woman wants from you is to cover her cap fare. Why? Because in addition to having a GIANT BREAST, she also has a GIGANTIC THIN SKULL, which requires a huge hat to keep her head warm.

Hats cost money, people. $$

THICK And SEXY BBW with GIANT BREAST - w4m - 33 (Midtown)

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Reply to: pers-303405799@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-03-30, 8:40PM EDT


just cover my cap fare $$
5'5 235lbs Beautiful and shapely

I don't think you need to do that

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/cas/263537465.html

The author of this ad is looking for all the sexy, pretty, fat women. I feel like, to a certain extent, this is like looking for all of the dry water or all of the elderly infants. I also feel like it's not like there's one secret underground bunker where sexy, overweight women are hiding. If there was, it would be a large enough bunker that its location wouldn't be too much of a secret.

The author then offers to eat the heavy woman's lunch. Is that really a problem for a woman? If you're a BBW, I'm guessing lunch-eatery isn't a field you need a stranger's help in.

Where are the Sexy, Pretty BBWs? - m4w - 38

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Reply to: pers-263537465@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-01-16, 12:48PM EST


Black male 38 years old, seeks the company of a curvy, sexy, pretty BBW. I will eat your lunch and kiss your ass real good and then make passionate love to you. Please send your pic and number and let's get together. I have a nice big, black cock and I want to give it to a big, sexy, curvy BBW. Race is unimportant, please be at least 30 yrs old.

When I say hide the twinkie, I mean an actual twinkie

http://newyork.craigslist.org/stn/cas/238039704.html

The author of this post knows her fantasy is a little weird, so I'll cut her some slack.

She's a larger woman searching for extramarital sex. And by the way, if your 400lb wife cheats on you, I'd start picking which daytime talk show you want to appear on now or else she'll end up doing it for you.

She wants to play hide the twinkie, which I had at first guessed was some sort of euphamism for sex (hiding your penis, which looks like a twinkie, inside of her). But no, she meant an actual twinkie. That's just sad.

It's even sadder that her body is big enough that it can actually hide a twinkie and that you may have difficulty finding it. It's even sadder still that she wants to play the game several times, suggesting that there are several different hiding places on her body.

Oh, and as an aside, by the way... if you want to poop on her... yeah, she "may" be okay with that. She's naturally shy about the idea. It's not something normal, something she can be up front about. Like hide the twinkie.

bbw seeking some weird fun - w4m - 30

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Reply to: pers-238039704@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-11-21, 11:19AM EST


I am 5'2",400lbs, and have a weird sense of humor. I am married, and cannot do this with my husband. You may find this weird, but I accept my wieght, and want to have some fun with it. I want to go out, have some drinks, go to a motel, or your place cause im married. Then I want to play hide the twinkie. I will hide it on my body, and you have to find it with your mouth, no hands. We will do this a few times, and then if you turn me on enough, I will be more than willing to sleep with you. I know this sounds weird, or degrading, but hey, its my fantasy, if you are not interested, dont respond. If you are into defecation, I may be too.

Large and in charge

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/236549512.html

You know what I could go for right about now? The answer to this question is usually some kind of food, but in this case it's a large woman.

The author of this ad knows how to sweet talk a lady. I personally don't know any woman that wouldn't like to be described as "large and in charge." She'd be like Charles from that TV show where he was in charge. And what woman wouldn't want to be Scott Baio?

Like a fortune cookie, the author then predicts that your wish, whatever it may be (the career of my dreams? financial independence?) will be eagerly granted. That was a nice touch, but I wish the ad also provided lucky lotto numbers as well.

The author is open to women of any race, within reason. Seriously, if you're black or middle eastern, that's just not reasonable, ok? He's not crazy.

He's willing to host, but he knows that it suits you best to come to him. He's 5'9, 175, cute blond hair, and grey eyes. And his ideal woman... is the same! Which is strange because that's large, but not large enough to be in charge.

I could go for a BBW, right about now - m4w - 24 (Union Square)

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Reply to: pers-236549512@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-11-18, 1:29AM EST


I'm looking a woman that's large and in-charge to have her way with me tonight. Your wish will be eagerly granted. Open to all age and race (within reason).

ME: 5'9 175, cute blonde hair, grey eyes, well-educated, drug and disease free (you too please)

I can host at my apt. near u. square or I can travel to you (which suits you best). Please let me know

Poor Planning

http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/cas/235137911.html

This post is written by a woman who is very sexual and very horny, a rare combination! As is BBW and lonely...

This woman is looking for a man who owns porn and who enjoys masturbating, which is kind of like posting online for a man who has internet access. Considering that 99% of men own some form of porn, she hasn't really narrowed down what it is she's looking for. (Okay, there are some people who don't have porn, but those people aren't looking for sex on CL...)

This woman is extremely sexual and very horny, but surprise! She has not had sex since she is planning to remain celibate until she meets a guy who wants total monogomy. Lots of guys like monogomy. But presumably she wants a guy who wants total monogomy... with her. Now we've hit a problem.

Her plan in the meantime is to have phone sex, masturbate and watch lots of porn. I don't think this woman understands how temptation works.

If you're a chocoholic, a good substitute for chocolate isn't hanging around a candy store and sniffing fudge. That's a good way to eventually surrender to your unfortunate yet throbbing psycological desire to gorge yourself with brownies. I'm sorry, but it's human nature.

This woman needs a new plan. I suggest "having sex with people."

Do you own a lot of porno DVD's / videos ? - w4m

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Reply to: pers-235137911@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-11-15, 9:20AM EST


I am a black BBW in my 30's from Queens. I am extremely sexual and very horny, but I have not had sex for several months. I plan on remaining celibate until I find a guy who is totally drug and disease free like I am and who believes in practicing total monogamy. Since this is basically impossible to find, in the meantime I would like to find a guy who will have phone sex with me and we can send sexy e-mails and IM's to each other. Most importantly, I need a guy who loves to watch and jerk off to porn, and who owns a lot of pornos, so that we can watch them and masturbate together at your place. I would also love it if you would give me your old pornos or the ones that you are tired of, so that I can watch them at home. I have huge tits, a big round ass and a wet pussy and clit that I love to stroke and caress until I come. I masturbate every day, often twice a day, to relieve all the tension. If any guy out there can help me out - any age and any race is fine- I would be very happy.

Oxymoronic

http://newyork.craigslist.org/jsy/cas/232831186.html

So this woman describes herself as a "small bbw". A BBW stands for "big beautiful woman" and thus we have a problem.

I feel this woman must be aware of the problem because she only wants replies from people "who know what a BBW is," which means that she doesn't want a nice guy casually looking for a new experience. She wants a veteran internet sex troll. I like a girl with taste.

I don't like that she may be into one of my friends. Which one? Now I'm gonna act jealous around all of 'em...