Ay papi! I fall upon the thorns of life!

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/385710268.html or translated

This ad was originally written en español. Thanks to Google Language Tools, however, I was able to have it translated into not just the crass vernacular of CL, but to what could pass for the verses of Percy Bysshe Shelley.

The author has two parallel, conflicting desires: to suck and to swallow. She can't do both, can she? But, as Shelley noted in Ode to the West Wind, the wind can be both "Destroyer and Preserver." So too this woman can suck and swallow.

The author likes the great and heavy yards. Why? Well because it absorbs her teats, which is pretty incredible. Unless her teats are water and your great and heavy yards are a sponge, but that wouldn't make any sense.

The author will put herself in four for you, which I think means she will bend over on all fours. At least I hope it means that.

The author bends over on all fours for you. She is dunked!
Much like Shelley falls upon the thorns of life. He bleeds!
This ad is so ripped off.

Up next, the author's totito (a dog that lives in kansas?) wants to be stretched by a "great and heavy tiny beast." Such a mythical creature of conflict, that is both great and tiny, is already stretching my mind. Hopefully it will leave my totito alone.

Ay papi, dame your milk! I'm sick of daming it for you. And if you absorb this girl's teats, you're just going to dame it anyway. I think.

ay papi, dame your milk! - w4m (Inwood/Wash Hts)

---

Reply to: pers-385710268@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-30, 10:37 P.M. EDT


I have desire to suck and to swallow. I like the great and heavy yards. I like Latin and brown.

it absorbs my teats and I put myself in four for you, papi.

I am dunked and I want to suck and to swallow milk.

my totito wants to be stretched by a great and heavy tiny beast… ay papi, dame your milk!

The Ladies Man

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/384854686.html

It's Sunday night and Harlem's Heartthrob™ is going to the bar tonight. And for the first time in CL history, he's decided to let the internet know about it.

Like Jesse Jackson or Johnnie Cochran, HH makes his case in rhyme. Nothing turns a lady on more than a poem like:

SKINNY OR FAT
SHORT OR TALL
I LUST FOR YOU ALL

The magic of this poem is that it not only rhymes, but that it also reminds girls that they could be hideously ugly and this heartthrob will still use them as an object. Or this gem:

If you can hang
lets BANG!

This ode, reminiscent of To His Coy Mistress, suggests to the woman that if she is able to have sex, then maybe they should have sex.

I suggest this lesser-known work, attributed to HH:

If you respond to this ad
Your Sunday nights are SAD

It lacks HH's usual flair, but it is frank and honest.

HH mentions the fact that he will be in Harlem only three times, including his name. But the last time, he does so WITH GUSTO!

HARLEM'S HEARTTHROB (NSA) - m4w - 26 (Harlem / Morningside)

---

Reply to: pers-384854686@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-29, 10:11PM EDT


I'm going to the bar tonight, and I don't like drinking alone so feel free to join me. DRINKS ON ME! I don't discriminate on dates so just send me a pic and if I like, I'll divulge the location where I will be consuming my cocktails and we can link up. SKINNY OR FAT SHORT OR TALL I LUST FOR YOU ALL! I'm ISO a drinking partner that can handle her liquor and isn't afraid of her sexuality either. I'm a 9.5"er so if you can hang lets BANG! FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME BEFORE MIDNIGHT! I can HOST for after hours. LOCATION HARLEM!