Innocent Means Weird

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/272222019.html

The author is self aware enough to realize he sounds like a freak. Luckily, that's fine with him.

So what happens in this guy's fantasy is that he meets you at lunch "when I know on your door and you let me inside to warm up."

Somehow he's meeting you at "lunch" which involves you being inside of your apartment and him being outside of it. That's not "lunch," that's "you being at home."

Also, he wants to know on your door. If this is knowing in the Biblical sense, he wants to have sex on your door, interrupted only when you let him inside to warm up (though shouldnt sex with your door have made him warm enough?)

His "I remove a piece of clothing, you do the same," thing assumes you're wearing an equal number of articles of clothing. Otherwise there's going to be an awkward thing at the end where one person just strips. Luckily the awkwardness of that will be dwarfed by the spontaneous massage/masturbation-fest.

Innocent fun - m4w - 28 (Chelsea)

---

Reply to: pers-272222019@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-02-02, 8:39AM EST

I realize I'm going to sound like a freak, and well, that's fine with me. I want to meet you at lunch when I know on your door and you let me inside to warm up. We talk briefly then I say "shhhhh," and slowly start to undress you. For each piece of clothing I remove you do the same with mine until we're both standing there completely naked and vulnerable. Two strangers taking advantage of a city of anonymity. Our hands explore and we stare into each other's eyes. We don't kiss, we don't fuck, we just massage each other until we can't control ourselves any longer and are about to explode, then we masturbate together. When we're done we clean each other off, get dressed, and possibly never see each other again. I'm 28, 5'10" in shape and very attractive.

I Guess I'm a Fugitive

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/272217689.html

You're looking for me? Why? Why me?

The author of this ad is looking for traveling cuckolds, which I guess is the awesome name of some college a capella group. (We're the Travelling Cuckolds! Behold our cover of Don't You Forget About Me).

The author is both real AND not a phony. What a combination. He's into intense pleasing while respecting one's limits. I'm totally into respecting one's limits. Some of my best memories are of limits I totally respected back in college. In the hobbies section of my facebook profile, it totally says "respecting one's limits." It's just so fun.

Anyway, we should me for drinks.

Im Looking for You!!!!!! - m4w - 50 (Midtown)

---

Reply to: pers-272217689@craigslist.org
Date:2007-02-02, 8:18AM EST

Hello, I'm looking for traveling cuckolds visiting NY or bored and lonely wifes and singles living in NY. for fun times with a nice caring honest man. I'm real and not a phony.I'm into intense pleasing while respecting ones limits.Lets me for drinks.

They were here a minute ago!

http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/cas/271540806.html

The author of this ad poses a fair question: Wher all white women?

I swear, there were a bunch here like five minutes ago. Did they all disintegrate or something? The author doesn't want you to have sex with him, he just needs an email from you confirming that you and your white sisters are alright. How caring and concerned he is.

He actually should be freaked out. Queens is over 44% white, so if all the white women are missing, literally 1 out of every 5 Queens residents has vanished.

Also, the author is very oral. He includes a picture of him making a weird face with his lips. Considering that oral sex involves one's tongue, that pictures tells us nothing except that he has a mouth, which I guess is a step in the right direction.

White women lv oral men. Wait until this guy learns that other races of women enjoy oral sex, too. It will blow his mind.

Wher all white women? - m4w

---

Reply to: pers-271540806@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-01-31, 8:46PM EST


I am very oral,, see pic. white women lv that

something....something else????

http://newyork.craigslist.org/fct/cas/271598144.html

I don't know if Fairfield, CT is the worst town on Earth to be alive. I think I could name a worse one.

I'm trying to understand this stream-of-consciousness: all inclusive of party in my mouth, party with "cock"tails, party re: get me the hell out of this place. Here's my best guess:.

Somewhere before the elipsis were the words "I'm inviting you to a party." These words were cut out by the elipsis, perhaps because our 35 year old Fairfieldian was too bored to quote them. Included in said party is a penis, which I don't understand, since this is a woman who is presumably bored and alone, so where is this penis she promises us? Is it our own penis? If so, you can't really promise stuff at a party that you yourself don't have. The party description then breaks into office memo format with a re:. Somehow, by having "cock"tails, we can get her the hell out of this place. I don't think you need a penis martini to get out of Fairfield.

i'm bored in fairfield......want to party????? - w4m - 35

---

Reply to: pers-271598144@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-01-31, 10:54PM EST


seriously......is this the worst town on earth to be alive????? I would love it if someone else wanted to party like I do right now.....all inclusive of party in my mouth, party with "cock"tails, party re: get me the hell out of this place...."if it's the last thing we ever do"......any one interested, like now????

pic 4 pic....and u won't be disappointed.

promise